Get To Know A T-Shirt: The Amazing Mr. No Legs

Directed By The Creature From The Black Lagoon (or Ricou Browning) (1979).


My hair hates me!

Rance Howard (Opie Cunningham Senior) runs a drug sweatshop factory down at the docks. The film quality in Mr. No Legs is shitty video home movie style, and everyone in this film is decked out in polyester and oily hair. The film resembles a warehouse safety PSA with incredible stunts and a one man wrecking machine.

I was so wasted when I made this

I was so wasted when I made this

There are lots of 50’s B-movie stars crammed into ths action packed juggernaut directed by The Creature From The Black Lagoon (Ricou Browning). Stars like John Agar (Nightbreed, every Roger Corman film) Richard Jaekel (The Green Slime, Baywatch), either these people owe Mr. Browning a lot of favors or they had nothing better to do on a weekend. The real star of the show is Ted Vollrath, a double amputee, Korean war vet and grand master black belt champion, he plays Mr. No Legs!

No Legs No problem breaking faces

No Legs, No problem breaking faces

He’s is a tough talking, mean bastard that fights drug pushers armed with his motorized wheelchair attached with machine guns and his apache fighting skills. His hair looks like its snapped on with bolts and can be removed at a moments notice.
Throughout history there have been many handicapped superheroes,(Crippled Masters comes to mind, Handiman: Defender of The Handicapped and Corky from Life Goes On). But none is as menacing as Mr. No Legs and everyone seems to owe him a favor, all debts will be payed off or he will blow machine-gun sized chunks out of all perpetrators.
One of Lou’s (Rance Howard) employees accidentally kills his girlfriend, she takes a spill on a glass coffee table!
Everyone in this film seems to desperately need Sy Sperling and join the Hair club for men, Rance’s hair looks like it wants to escape off his skull in certain scenes. Mr. No Legs is a calculated cold blooded trigger happy killer who maims without conscience.


Coming up next on No Leg News

A terrible lounge Captain and Tennille style act shows up on stage at a bar. Richard Jaekel and John Agar share a lot of police office scenes for some reason.
Mustache Andy (Richard Slinker), a police informant shows up with his foreign stripper girlfriend, they drag the film down.
Later on a tranny lounge is featured with midgets and a racist white bitch with snaggled teeth. A countrified power pop song by Mercy plays as a cat fight ensues, ending with Mr. No Legs stabbing the white lady in the belly.

I'm really enjoying this

I’m really enjoying this

Mustache Andy and Jaekel figure out who’s behind the coffee table murder and crackdown on Mr. No Legs, but he is one step ahead of the game.
The last 25 minutes are essential viewing as No legs takes out all thugs by the pool using his stumps to pummel them and attacks with chinese stars hidden in the tires of his chair! It all winds down with a police chase. Does Mr. No Legs make it out in one piece? This film is required viewing for fans of Duke Mitchell, Crippled Masters or those that just want to be inspired by a legless man stomping and whomping punks! Browning shot most of his work in Florida and was even behind Flipper the dolphin’s TV Show.
So buy the T-shirt and see the film!!!!


Somebody buy Edmund Kemper a Coke

Somebody buy Edmund Kemper a Coke


Taste the sting of my lethal stumps

Last one in is a No Legged assassin




About Crankenstein

Gore Nerd and Film Fanatic who likes Metal, Pizza and hanging out with his dog Jack.