“If you don’t follow the rules tonight, you won’t live to see tomorrow”
Finally, I get to return to the land of the Internet. I’ve been aimlessly roaming the streets of Chicago for the past few weeks twitching do to lack of blogging. You see I had to do that whole dreadful moving business that no one likes to talk about. Then, on top of that, of course it was hot as Hades outside during the whole process. Anyways, by the blessing of unicorns and other magical beings I now have my Internet privileges back and a new roof above my head. Phewww.
So, I’m sure you’re all wondering what I’ve been up to lately. I assure you nothing to exciting. However, this past week I took a break from bathing in the blood of virgins and trucked on over to Comic Con. Oh what a glorious day that was. I met a Predator and he sized up my head, I managed to leave without spending $50 at the Asian candy booth (Because there WASN’T one…blasphemy!), and I stumbled across this amazing artist, by the name of Chuck Brueckman, whom specialized in horror themed prints. I of course snatched myself up a fabulous Trick ‘r Treat and Chucky print. It was like magic in my hand, and it made me want to run home re-watch Trick ‘r Treat for the umpteenth time and cook a glorious feast. So I did.
Before we get on to the food, let’s take a moment to establish how great this film is. One of the reasons being it came out when a lot of horse shit was and two because it has nothing to do with the 1986 Trick or Treat starring Ozzy Osbourne and Gene Simmons. Trick ‘r Treat had a very difficult time coming to be. I don’t know if director Michael Dougherty drew the short straw at director’s camp or what, but he sure got himself knocked over with Warner Brother’s metaphorical monster truck of dream crushing. Set to have a theatrical release in October 2007, Warner Bros., without explanation, randomly pulled Trick ‘r Treat forcing it to collect dust until October 2009 when it went straight to DVD. Sadly, it’s because of this I believe this film has not gotten the credit it deserves, and remains to be a movie that many people have turned a blind eye to.
Trick ‘r Treat is not only creative, but it also posses some beautiful cinematography, an overall good cast, and oddly enough a likeable and somewhat adorable villain by the name of Sam. Also, one of the best things about this film is the fact that it circles around one of the greatest holidays around, Halloween. It also manages to do so in an unconventionally well thought out and uncheesy manner. No this film isn’t gory, so if you are more of the type who only consider torture porn-esq films to be the standard of horror then Trick ‘r Treat is probably not for you. However, if you are looking for a fun film that plays on child like fears coming to existence then I say do yourself a favor and give this a go. Now it’s time to follow the rules of these recipes, if not Sam will be coming to town. Dum…dum…dum…
Samhain’s Halloween Carrots
I’ve come to the conclusion that the combination of butter and brown sugar is the Devil’s juice. There’s no way that kind of combination could mean anything holy. During some mad scientist kitchen experiments, I found out that the only ingredients that make that combo better is orange marmalade and carrots. So here I am giving you my famous carrot side dish recipe, and it’s guaranteed to be the only thing that will keep Sam occupied if he comes a knockin.
- 1 (1lb Bag) Baby Carrots
- 1 Tablespoon Honey
- 3 Tablespoons Butter, melted
- 2 Tablespoons Orange Marmalade
- 1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
- 1 Teaspoon Light Brown sugar
- ¼ Teaspoon Salt
- ¼ Teaspoon Black Pepper
Preheat oven to 350 Degrees F. In a small bowl melt butter, and then add remaining ingredients except carrots to the butter. Mix until everything is thoroughly combined and the honey and marmalade has dissolved. Put carrots in a small baking dish and then add the butter mixture. Stir until carrots are completely coated. Cover with foil and bake for 1 hour, remove once at the 30 minute mark to stir.
Serves up to 4
Trick or Treat, Smell My Baked Beans…
I like to think of myself as a master baked beans maker. I’m not sure if that’s something you put on a resume or not, but I’m pretty proud of this recipe nonetheless. I like to think I’ve manifested the perfect balance of sweet and spicy, all without sacrificing the hearty nature of baked beans. This dish is perfect as a side, or if you’re feeling frisky…or maybe not so much considering the ingredients…it’s filling enough to be a nice lunch.
- ½ Cup Apple Cider Vinegar
- 1 ½ Cup White Onion, diced
- 1 Tablespoon Minced Garlic
- 1 Cup Ketchup
- 2 Teaspoons Worcestershire Sauce
- 2 Tablespoons Soy Sauce
- 3 Tablespoons Light Brown sugar
- ½ Teaspoon Black Pepper
- 2 Teaspoon Hot Chili Sauce
- 1 Teaspoon Red Pepper Flakes
- 1/2 Teaspoon Pumpkin Pie Seasoning
- 1/4 Teaspoon Cumin
- 1 (15oz) Can Small Red Beans
- 1 (15oz) Can Light Red Kidney Beans
- 1 (15oz) Can Black Beans
- 1 (15oz) Can Crushed Tomatoes
- 1/4 Cup Dry Red Wine
- Large saucepan or a crock-pot ( I prefer this option)
In a crock-pot on high or in a large saucepan over medium heat, place all cans of beans, crushed tomatoes, and wine. Stir to combine and place the lid over top. In a small saucepan saute onions over medium heat. Follow by adding all the remaining ingredients. Continue to whisk almost constantly on medium heat for 10 minutes. Transfer the sauce mixture to the bean mixture and cook covered for 3 hours; stir occasionally. Serve.
Urban Legend Lemon Crusted Chicken
Everyone needs a light chicken recipe that doesn’t taste like dry wall. This everyday chicken breast is dressed up with a mild citrus flavor and a nice breaded herb coating. That’s right folks; the concept of tasty healthy chicken isn’t an urban legend any longer.
- 4 Boneless, skinless Chicken Breasts
- 2 Lemons, Juiced
- 1 Cup Seasoned breadcrumbs
- 1 Tablespoon Fresh Thyme, Pulled off stalk
- 1/4 Teaspoon Black Pepper
- Pinch of Garlic Salt
Pre-heat oven to 425 Degrees F. Place all chicken breasts on a plate and make tiny knife stabs into each of them. In a medium-sized bowl juice 2 lemons; set aside. In another medium bowl place breadcrumbs, thyme, and black pepper. Next, dip each chicken breast into the lemon mixture and then the breadcrumbs mixture. Make sure to well coat both sides and then place in a lightly greased glass baking dish. Just a FYI, I prefer to grease my dishes with olive oil. Sprinkle a pinch of garlic salt over each chicken breast and then cover with foil and bake for about 30 minutes. Remove the foil and proceed to bake for an additional 15 minutes, or until no longer pink on the inside. When fully cooked, the chicken should no longer be pink, but still have nice moisture to the inside.