Cannibal Kitchen: The Toxic Avenger (1984)

Toxic-Avenger

Criminals, beware of the Toxic Avenger. He will kick your butt HARD!!

Before there was Kick Ass, the 80′s gave us an adorably nerdy man-child by the name of Melvin Junko. Melvin wasn’t just any Melvin though. Thanks to a vat of toxic waste and some uppity health junkies, he became better know as the lovable Monster hero, ” The Toxic Avenger”. I’m not even going to beat around the bush on this one. I point, blank, period, love this movie. If I had real feelings and bought into the whole Valentine’s Day bullshit, Melvin would have gotten at least 10 Saved By The Bell cards with suave Zack Morris lines on them from me.

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The Toxic Avenger is not for the viewer who wants a serious movie with a ton of substance. However, if you want a quirky, tongue in cheek kind of film that has a good amount of gore this is the one for you. Apparently even during the making someone caught on fire, and a homeless man stole a prop gun and attempted to threaten the crew with it. It truly is the definition of campy 80′s horror. So what are you waiting for? Whip up this health conscious recipe, head on over and pre-order your very own RC  Toxic Avenger shirt, and then get this movie going. Melvin thanks you.

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THE UN-TOXIC AVOCADO AVENGER

I like to think this is the type of salad they would serve at the Tromaville Health Club. It is green and tasty after all. A lot tastier than toxic waste…you have my word.  This avocado salad is super flavorful, easy to make, and filling. Besides the main recipe I also included an additional recipe that uses some similar ingredients. The second recipe is for the person who prefers the more natural flavors of avocado to be the main focus, and an even easier recipe to maneuver through. I guess your other option could be to have a hot tamale shoved down your throat. Your choice.

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Ingredients:
– 1 Fresh Avocado, Peeled and chopped
– 1 Cup Cherry Tomatoes, Cut in half
– 1 Tablespoon Red Onion, Diced
– 1 Tablespoon Cilantro, Diced
– Juice from 1/2 a Lime
– 1/2 Teaspoon Balsamic Vinegar
– 1/4 Teaspoon Apple Cider Vinegar
– 1/2 Teaspoon Minced Garlic
– 1/2 Teaspoon Cumin
– 1/4 Teaspoon Black Pepper
– 1/4 Teaspoon Cayenne Pepper

 

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Directions:
In a small bowl mix together lime juice, both vinegars, and all seasonings. In a medium sized bowl place all other ingredients. Mix together, and then add the lime juice mixture. Toss to thoroughly combine. Serve right away or refrigerate.

Serves 1 as a meal or 2 as sides

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ALTERNATE RECIPE:

Ingredients:
– 1 Avocado, Peeled and chopped
– 1 Cup Cherry Tomatoes, Cut in half
– 1 Tablespoon Red Onion, Diced
– 1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
– 1 Teaspoon Balsamic Vinegar
– 1 Teaspoon Crushed Red Pepper
– 1/2 Teaspoon Garlic Powder
– 1/4 Teaspoon Black Pepper

Directions:
In a medium bowl, mix together avocado, tomatoes, and red onion. Put the other ingredients over the mixture and toss to fully coat. Serve right away or refrigerate.

Serves 1 as meal or 2 as sides

Shannon Rullo

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