Ten Brutal Brews: Horror, Metal & Beer

Few things go better with horror than metal and a good brew. Recently I was trying out a particularly brutal one and was inspired to create this list. I’m not a food critic though, so don’t expect me to detect notes of citrus or some shit. Do look these up though.

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Blakkr (Three Floyds, Surly, Real Ale)

The inspiration for this post. Color is black as night, very dark, very hoppy. I’ve always thought that the best IPAs kind of taste how a particularly potent bag of pot smells. That holds true with this one. 9.99% ABV.

Pairs well with,

Bands: Candlemass, Ghost BC

Activities: Satanic rituals

Films: House of the Devil, Rosemary’s Baby, Prince of Darkness

 

 

ironswan2

Iron Swan (Real Ale)

The flavor of this brew isn’t particularly strong. It’s a pretty good English pale ale. Perhaps not brutal in the usual sense but it is tasty. Most importantly it was brewed in honor of a damn good metal band. (Hence it’s inclusion here.) 5.88%ABV

Pairs well with,

Band: The Sword

Films: The Conan movies, Army of Darkness

 

 

 

Jester-King

Black Metal Stout (Jester King)

So, another Texas brewery (can you guess what part of the country I live in?) This one is apparently not brewed anymore, but it was quite a good Russian Imperial Stout. Thick, dark and strong. 10.4%ABV

Pairs well with,

Bands: Burzum, Darkthrone, Immortal, Mayhem, etc…

Films: The Seventh Seal, Antichrist, Begotten

 

 

 

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Outer Darkness (Squatters)

Another Russian Imperial Stout. This one is one of my favorites. A lot of this style of beer can edge on the sweet side, even with it being a very strong flavored category. This one is very well rounded. It’s often easier to find as well, which is a bonus. 10.5%ABV

Pairs well with,

Bands: Behemoth, Dimmu Borgir, Goatwhore

Films: Black Death, The Thing, Phantasm series

 

 

 

Stone_CrimePunishment

 Crime & Punishment (Stone)

So I’m including this one for informational purposes, I guess, since you can’t get it anymore. It was released last year and in ridiculously small amounts and was stupid hard to come by. Stone has become probably the best known craft brewery in the country and with good reason. They consistently produce quality beer and they’ve also been great at self-promotion. These two beers are a pretty niche product though, one brewed with an assortment of peppers and one with peppers added after the fact. They are both extremely brutal. Check out this reaction video they shot. Peppers used included: red and green jalapeño, Fatali, Caribbean Red Hot, habanero, Ghost, Black Naga, Super, Moruga Scorpion, 7 Pot, Aji Amarillo, Scorpion, Giant White Habanero, 7 Pot Douglah and Douglah peppers. Crime: 9.6% ABV Punishment: 12% ABV

Pairs well with,

Bands: Extreme Noise Terror, Pig Destroyer, Kenny G

Films: A Serbian Film, Dancer in the Dark, The Notebook

 

 

 

triple_0Triple Exultation (Eel River)

So this is an old ale, which I’m not sure what that means but it’s really good. It’s organic if you give a shit about that. I bought it originally because my son’s name is Thorin and he’s metal as fuck. He can’t drink yet because he’s also a baby, so I do it for him. That’s love. 9.7% ABV

Pairs well with,

Bands: Amon Amarth, Moonsorrow, Ensiferum, Turisas

Films: Valhalla Rising, Beowulf and Grendel, Berserker

 

 

 

Undead-Party-Crasher

 Undead Party Crasher (Clown Shoes)

Another Imperial Stout yes. The most metal of beers. This one is good, a little on the sweet side. Doesn’t have the kick you on your ass kind of taste that I look for in these beers. That said, it’s good and the label is cool looking. Clown Shoes has better Imperial though. 11%ABV.

Pairs well with,

Bands: The Misfits, The Cramps

Films:  Return of the Living Dead, Dead Alive, Demons, Dawn of the Dead

 

 

 

ClownShoes_Unidragon

Blaecorn Unidragon (Clown Shoes)

This is the better of the Clown Shoes’ Imperial Stouts. Hops come into play more in this one, which always helps with imperials since the malt is usually what makes it come across as sweet. I also remember this one having a detectable coffee-like flavor which I really like in dark beer. 11.5% ABV

Pairs well with,

Bands: Three Inches of Blood, A Band of Orcs, Blind Guardian

Films: Troll, Heavy Metal, Wizards

 

 

 

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Double Bastard (Stone)

If you’re into beer you’ve probably heard of Arrogant Bastard, Stone’s best known brew. Double Bastard is its evil twin. It’s an American strong ale, and has strong hop characteristics like most Stone beers. If you like Arrogant Bastard, you’ll love this. It’s really damned good. 10.5% ABV

Pairs well with,

Bands: GWAR, Bolt Thrower, Gama Bomb

Films: Nightbreed, Hellraiser, From Beyond

cockeyed-cooperCockeyed Cooper (Unita)

I know the label doesn’t look all that hardcore but it’s not all about the bottle. This barleywine has got strength in both ABV and a great taste. Ageing in bourbon barrels seems to be pretty popular with craft brews these days and I’m loving it. You can definitely taste the bourbon in there. 11.1% ABV

Pairs well with,

Bands: Pantera, Legion of the Damned, Iron Reagan

Films: I Spit on Your Grave, Last House on the Left, Slumber Party Massacre, Sleepaway Camp

Look, this list is far from complete. I used only beers I’ve actually tasted instead of just looking for tough-looking beers. There are plenty pretenders out there. I also haven’t included quite a few kinds of beer. I really wanted to come up with the perfect IPA to go with Cannibal Holocaust but it just wouldn’t come to me. (I’m thinking Stone’s Enjoy By maybe) I’ve heard a lot about Springhouse Brewery as well as Great Lakes’ Nosferatu. Alas, I haven’t had the pleasure of endrunkening myself with them. (That’s a word I just coined)

So, go try some new beers and fuck shit up! Ahem, responsibly.

Drink and fuck shit up responsibly.

Jonathan Watson

About Jonathan Watson

Father, husband, horror fan. I fell in love with the genre around age 5 when I began watching, the Rankin/Bass classic, Mad Monster Party on repeat. Now that I have little monsters of my own, I'm looking forward to training them in a couple of years. For the time being, I'll be satisfied to entertain you fine folks. Now, go make me look good and buy some shirts already.